Police in Southsea were looking for men aged 25-32, between 5’8" and 6’0, brown-haired, and with goatee beards. Susannah naturally thought that I, being a man aged 25-32, between 5’8 and 6’0, brown-haired, and with a goatee beard, would fit the bill (yes, intended) perfectly. So I phoned the Police and said I was interested in the parade and they asked for my description. I explained that, well, I fitted their description except that I don’t have a full goatee - was that a problem. The officer went to check the suspect's details, told me that the suspect had a proper goatee, and then asked if I could grow one for next Monday (the date of the parade). I did. When I turned up at the parade there were half-a-dozen lads there who were on first name terms with the ID officers and spent the waiting time talking about how wrecked they got down the Guildhall last Saturday afternoon, who they smacked afterwards, and how fit the girls were in the (ooh - ahh) Daily Star.
Neil - is back to only half a goatee.
