At 11pm on 10 September 2008 I was handed a baby boy - I was a father. It wasn't until 3am on 11 September that I could say that we were a family. In the five hours from my wife being advised to have an emergency caesarean section, and her starting to come round from general anaesthetic, I was given lots to think about.
"You need to think about how you will look after the baby." I was told. At the time it was the baby as I hadn't wanted to give my son a name wihout my wife being there. I wasn't sure whether it would be my choice. I wasn't sure whether "looking after the baby" meant for a few days, or whether it meant by myself.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Parking Spots
There's a fantastic little website called Parking Spots whose simple premise is to hold a small toy car up so close that it appears to be the same size as real cars that are far away. Although the aim is to get the cars looking the same size, there is a pleasant insistance on keeping your hand in the shot. This was mine.Neil - sees a spaceman, and parks in it, man.
Call out the Invigilator
This morning I sat in a classroom, invigilating Alan. Alan is not a pupil, it is a test for adult literacy and numeracy based on 40 tick-box questions answered on-line. Normally, in an exam, you get to wander round a hall, in-between the desks, looking over the shoulders of pupils at their work. You also get to read through the exam papers and worry that you've covered all the necessary topics from your scheme of work.
Alan has none of this. All the pupils were sat at PCs, looking at monitors, and were reading and comprehending (hopefully), or doing maths. There was no paper copy to leaf through and while away the time. Unlike the fun of doing maths for the sake of maths, or reading and writing to expand your imagination and creativity, the Alan tasks were based on real-world functional maths (such as working out how much paint you'd need for a wall by working out its area; or reading advice about second-hand car-buying, being resolute in your negotiations (select the word or phrase which would replace 'resolute' from 'hairy', 'mixed with water', 'unchanging', or 'finely detailed'). The questions seemed as difficult as the ones you text in on premium rate numbers for ITV competitions. Clearly preparing pupils for real life-skills. Some things never change.
Immediately after the exams I was on break duty. For the past few months there has been a butt of smokers heading back from the tennis courts just as I arrive. As the sun was shining most pupils were out on the fields so I walked about and then went back to the courts to dismiss the pupils playing football with a) a bouncy ball, b) a tennis ball, c) anything round, or d) anything you can kick. I also met the smokers mid-drag. The same pupils who had taken the Alan exam which had no questions asking "You get someone older to buy you some cigarettes and give one to each of your three friends. Do you a) stink of smoke in school, b) develop a habit that will cause on-going health problems, c) get an hour and a half detention and your mum and dad called in, or d) contribute to the Treasury years and years before you have to?
Neil - says the resolution's here, and he knows that he's right.
Alan has none of this. All the pupils were sat at PCs, looking at monitors, and were reading and comprehending (hopefully), or doing maths. There was no paper copy to leaf through and while away the time. Unlike the fun of doing maths for the sake of maths, or reading and writing to expand your imagination and creativity, the Alan tasks were based on real-world functional maths (such as working out how much paint you'd need for a wall by working out its area; or reading advice about second-hand car-buying, being resolute in your negotiations (select the word or phrase which would replace 'resolute' from 'hairy', 'mixed with water', 'unchanging', or 'finely detailed'). The questions seemed as difficult as the ones you text in on premium rate numbers for ITV competitions. Clearly preparing pupils for real life-skills. Some things never change.
Immediately after the exams I was on break duty. For the past few months there has been a butt of smokers heading back from the tennis courts just as I arrive. As the sun was shining most pupils were out on the fields so I walked about and then went back to the courts to dismiss the pupils playing football with a) a bouncy ball, b) a tennis ball, c) anything round, or d) anything you can kick. I also met the smokers mid-drag. The same pupils who had taken the Alan exam which had no questions asking "You get someone older to buy you some cigarettes and give one to each of your three friends. Do you a) stink of smoke in school, b) develop a habit that will cause on-going health problems, c) get an hour and a half detention and your mum and dad called in, or d) contribute to the Treasury years and years before you have to?
Neil - says the resolution's here, and he knows that he's right.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I want to ride my bicycle...
Sunday 11th May was another fantastic May day in Southsea. There are a couple of attractions to Southsea: being near The Common and The Solent; and being a hop, skip and a jump away from Albert Road, the antidote to modern high-streets.
This Sunday the Albert Road Traders' Association put on a day of cycling, closing the road off to traffic, and opening up the shops. I caught the end of the day, walking down to The Kings Theatre, the road was littered with people chilling out on the tarmac whilst children and bikes were in fancy dress, brightening up an already brilliant sun-filled day.
Later this year, in September, there will be another "Love Albert Road Day". Again, closed roads, live music, barbecues, and hopefully the weather.
Neil - doesn't blame it on the sunshine.
This Sunday the Albert Road Traders' Association put on a day of cycling, closing the road off to traffic, and opening up the shops. I caught the end of the day, walking down to The Kings Theatre, the road was littered with people chilling out on the tarmac whilst children and bikes were in fancy dress, brightening up an already brilliant sun-filled day.
Later this year, in September, there will be another "Love Albert Road Day". Again, closed roads, live music, barbecues, and hopefully the weather.
Neil - doesn't blame it on the sunshine.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
A Fistful of Fivers
Today I needed to have £15 ready for the window cleaner. I checked my wallet: a selection of receipts from the 1035 miles of driving over Christmas (like Joseph I had to travel to the place I was born, but return by a different route); some overused cards; and a ten-pound note. I also had some things to take back to the shops so went into town to return a shirt, and get some cash.
After sorting out the returns I bought a takeaway coffee to break into the tenner, and then went into the bank to draw out £30. A twenty-pound note and two fives. Five-pound notes! I can't remember the last time I went to a cash machine and was given crisp five-pounts notes. University? Probably, but as I've been at universities in some capacity from 1991 to 2001, and again from September 2006 to June 2007, that's not saying too much. It was probably some time in 1996 when I was shocked to buy three pints and it cost more than the fiver I had in my hand (about the same as three takeaway coffees from Costa).
Neil - doesn't want to break into the twenty.
After sorting out the returns I bought a takeaway coffee to break into the tenner, and then went into the bank to draw out £30. A twenty-pound note and two fives. Five-pound notes! I can't remember the last time I went to a cash machine and was given crisp five-pounts notes. University? Probably, but as I've been at universities in some capacity from 1991 to 2001, and again from September 2006 to June 2007, that's not saying too much. It was probably some time in 1996 when I was shocked to buy three pints and it cost more than the fiver I had in my hand (about the same as three takeaway coffees from Costa).
Neil - doesn't want to break into the twenty.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Re-creation
Over the past year I've been given the job of taking my nephew and friends' children on afternoons or days out. I've gone to the Fort Nelson artillery museum at the top of Portsdown Hill, and visited HMS Dolphin, Gosport's Submarine Museum, which includes some cool stuff to play with and the Navy's very first submarine.
Walking towards the Historic Dockyard, opposite the bus and train terminus, there is a little museum with dinosaurs and fossils - the sort of thing I would think was great if you're eight. I went inside.
Inside you wind between display cabinets of fossilised plant leaves and sea-creatures, juxtaposed with photos of their contemporary equivalents. It all looks beautifully quaint with its bakelite ear-pieces, drawing you in to look and listen. However, when you do look at the accompanying text, and listen through the ear-pieces, you catch occasional sentences finishing with: "…and therefore evolution is wrong". Rather than stumble upon an old-fashioned curiosity-shop of dinosaurs, I'd walked into child-friendly arguments for Creationist propaganda. This wasn't a museum for fun and discovery; it was a museum for "fun" and "damentalism".
I had assumed that this sort of thing was limited to America, but here, nestled between the pubs, chip-shops, and naval history, was a genuine piece of pseudo-scientific selective re-interpretation of half-facts which scriptural theology says are poetic metaphors, but biblical fanatics are peddling to unwary parents and their children. It was difficult to know whether to laugh at the absurdity, or fume at the underhanded arrogance of this exhibition, sugaring its bizarre beliefs to prey upon unsuspecting kids: a Gingerbread House of fossilised ideas.
Neil - believes in dissention, and descention.
Walking towards the Historic Dockyard, opposite the bus and train terminus, there is a little museum with dinosaurs and fossils - the sort of thing I would think was great if you're eight. I went inside.
Inside you wind between display cabinets of fossilised plant leaves and sea-creatures, juxtaposed with photos of their contemporary equivalents. It all looks beautifully quaint with its bakelite ear-pieces, drawing you in to look and listen. However, when you do look at the accompanying text, and listen through the ear-pieces, you catch occasional sentences finishing with: "…and therefore evolution is wrong". Rather than stumble upon an old-fashioned curiosity-shop of dinosaurs, I'd walked into child-friendly arguments for Creationist propaganda. This wasn't a museum for fun and discovery; it was a museum for "fun" and "damentalism".
I had assumed that this sort of thing was limited to America, but here, nestled between the pubs, chip-shops, and naval history, was a genuine piece of pseudo-scientific selective re-interpretation of half-facts which scriptural theology says are poetic metaphors, but biblical fanatics are peddling to unwary parents and their children. It was difficult to know whether to laugh at the absurdity, or fume at the underhanded arrogance of this exhibition, sugaring its bizarre beliefs to prey upon unsuspecting kids: a Gingerbread House of fossilised ideas.
Neil - believes in dissention, and descention.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Juke Box Jury
There were two official-looking envelopes on the mat when I returned from holiday in July 2006: one, a confirmation of the PGCE Mathematics details, scheduled to start in September 2006; the other, a Summons for Jury Service, scheduled to start in September 2006.
Reading through the Courts Service leaflet there is no escape from Jury Service. All people on the Electoral Role between the ages of 18 and 69 are eligible and, more, obliged to perform this Civic Duty when summoned. The only people ineligible for Service are criminals and the mentally ill. As I've neither been Sentenced nor Sectioned there was no escape.
I spent a frantic afternoon on the phone trying to establish the effect of me missing the beginning of my PGCE. Still unsure of what to do, I phoned the Courts Service: "You could defer for up to a year." With only seven days to respond to the Summons I posted off copies of my timetable for the year and a letter explaining that I had was unable to respond withing seven days as I had been on holiday when the Summons arrived. A week later I received a deferred date of August 13 2007.
I have looked forward to August 13th all year. I hoped to be involved in the case of rubbish burglars, or the obvious surveillance (I've got a post to add). But now, almost 12 months since receiving that date, interrupting what should be six weeks holiday before the start of my first full school year, after a week of phoning the Courts and being told to phone back tomorrow afternoon because I'm not needed, I've been discharged from the remainder of my Service, with only the briefest glimpse of a Courtroom.
Neil - has only been fitted up for a suit
Reading through the Courts Service leaflet there is no escape from Jury Service. All people on the Electoral Role between the ages of 18 and 69 are eligible and, more, obliged to perform this Civic Duty when summoned. The only people ineligible for Service are criminals and the mentally ill. As I've neither been Sentenced nor Sectioned there was no escape.
I spent a frantic afternoon on the phone trying to establish the effect of me missing the beginning of my PGCE. Still unsure of what to do, I phoned the Courts Service: "You could defer for up to a year." With only seven days to respond to the Summons I posted off copies of my timetable for the year and a letter explaining that I had was unable to respond withing seven days as I had been on holiday when the Summons arrived. A week later I received a deferred date of August 13 2007.
I have looked forward to August 13th all year. I hoped to be involved in the case of rubbish burglars, or the obvious surveillance (I've got a post to add). But now, almost 12 months since receiving that date, interrupting what should be six weeks holiday before the start of my first full school year, after a week of phoning the Courts and being told to phone back tomorrow afternoon because I'm not needed, I've been discharged from the remainder of my Service, with only the briefest glimpse of a Courtroom.
Neil - has only been fitted up for a suit
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
